that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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