I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
