We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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