Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
