three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
