Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Randomize
