I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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