hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
