Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
