Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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