Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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