There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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