By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
