He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
