Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
