when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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