Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
