he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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