i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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