What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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