ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
