it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
