My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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