You work out of a Hotel?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's blow job season.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
