Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize