If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
