she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
