just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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