Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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