Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
