I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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