Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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