**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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