I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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