I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
