Dude my mom stole all your condoms
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
