So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
