Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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