They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
