ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
