I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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