Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
