Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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