i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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