y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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