**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Send help, water and tortillas.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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