Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize