whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
