I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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