Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
