I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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