he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
