All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
