Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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