I hate your face
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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