32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
