omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
