Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
