this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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