i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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