i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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