He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
