Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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