im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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