Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
