This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
