with your own penis?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
