I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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